Living Through The Schmidts
Grief is loud, even when it’s silent. It’s heavy, it’s messy, and it changes the way we see everything.
I’m Nicole Schmidt, and Living Through the Schmidts is a space where we stop trying to "fix" the pain and just start being honest about it. As a memoirist and certified grief educator, I’m giving language to the things we usually keep inside... the stories of love, the weight of loss, and what it actually looks like to rebuild after your world stops turning.
Whether you are navigating your own grief, caregiving for a loved one, or walking beside a friend in heartbreak, this podcast is a sanctuary for raw storytelling, gentle wisdom, and the reminder that you never have to carry the unspeakable alone.
Living Through The Schmidts
What Actually Helps In Grief
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When someone we love is hurting, we desperately want to do something to "fix" it. But the truth is, grief isn't a problem to be solved. It’s a journey to be witnessed.
In this episode, I’m getting honest about what actually helps when you’re in the middle of deep loss, and what can unintentionally wound. I’m sharing stories from my own widowhood and my journey through loss to introduce a concept that changed everything for me: The Grief Witness.
A grief witness isn't someone who has all the correct things to say; they are simply someone who is willing to sit beside the pain without trying to hurry it along.
In this episode, we talk about:
- The Power of Presence: What it actually looks like to "companion" someone in their sorrow.
- What Not to Say: Why some of the most common grief platitudes can actually sting, and what to say instead.
- The Grace Gap: Why grace matters so much in relationships when grief is in the room.
- Becoming a Grief Witness: How to support a friend or family member without feeling the pressure to "solve" their heartbreak.
- Letter Writing as a Tool: How I used journaling and letters as a way to untangle my own complicated grief.
- Tiny Increments: Why healing usually happens in invisible, quiet moments rather than big leaps.
Key Takeaways & Moments
- The "Wrong" Things: A look at the phrases that hurt and why they often come from a place of love.
- The Concept of Witnessing: Shifting our mindset from being a "solver" to being a "companion."
- Practical Support: Real-world ways to help a grieving friend (that don't involve saying "let me know if you need anything").
- Healing in Small Steps: Finding hope in the tiny, almost invisible shifts of the heart.
Resources Mentioned in This Episode:
- With Love, Nicole: My memoir about our journey through Mitch's illness. [Purchase the Book HERE]
- Heartfelt Haven: Our free community space for grief education and support. [Join the Community HERE]
- The Letter Journals: A tool I used to navigate the days when I had too much to say and nowhere to put it. [View Journals]